I am not a writer!

Good morning!

I am not a writer but I think I need to be brave enough to share the story of my recovery. I am a wife of 17 years that has been in fight of my life for 2 years to recover from the hurt and pain of sex addiction. My husband has been in recovery for 1 year and has been fighting to become the man of God he needs to be. It is a every day struggle. I want to share with you that "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" There are 100,000 thousands of us but most are suffering in silent.

I was silent in my co dependency for 16 years and now am finding myself again. Sounds weird but I am finally seeing color again. As I go through this journey I will share how I found out and what has happen.

Today I will share about myself. I was born in the early 70's to parents that were very involved in our church. When I was 4 yeas old things became difficult for me as child because my father cousin  molested me. I tried to tell but back then it was sweep under the rug and not talked about it again. When I was 8 my father became very absent in life and he himself was out having affairs (another sex addict) and acting out. By the time I was 9 he was out of our lives. Which now I look back and it was the best thing that could of happen. Junior high is when I think I knew I was a little messed up I had friends but no one close and I just didn't think I was good enough. So I created a world of fantasy to get through the daily grinned.

When I had hit High School I found a good friend. I spent all time with her I could we played volleyball and had a lot of fun but I once again did not feel good enough to fit in with some of the people around me and I truly started to act out.. High School was a scary place for me. I looked for trouble and friend was my balance.  I was  probably overwhelming for her.  I now see how I was Counter dependent and she co dependent. Some times switched. As years went on I was looking for love in all the wrong places and ended up pregnant by 17. I wanted to keep him so bad but I was alone. I ran from home and was living on my own with another unhealthy friend. At that point I offered money for an abortion and took it but never follow through. I gave my son up for adoption 2 days after he was born. The hardest thing I ever did.

As I go through my journey I will share pieces which lead to my husband and why I feel it all lead to me becoming a sex addict wife!