Today as I was getting ready for group, I was working on my "The Healing Choice Guildebook" by Susan Allen. It is the second time through and this time it seems to be bringing back memories. Ones that I Just don't want to feel. I guess that's why I waited for the last minute to do it.
One things that have hit me is that, I was petty messed up before we met but I also realized that that why I picked Jack.
In this week study it
also talked about counter productive behavior. I didn't think until today that I had those traits but, "yes" I am a queen of this behavior. My best of these behaviors are
- Make threats to leave but never follow through
- Create situations where you were indispensable (WOW!!!! I did this in part of life)
- Always had a crisis or problem (in everything)
It also talked about Holy Spirit giving us a hint and finding what we needed to know. The second part of this is hard for me. Letting the Holy Spirit guide us with the conversation that follow! I use to blow up! Now I am not sure what I would do. The other thing is the hunting of what they have done. We are to LET IT GO AND LET GOD. It is harder then you think. I have a hard time with that.When I start looking at all this I am just sad. Right now I am very sad but I also know this will pass.
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